06 July 2009

Bridgewater College



11 Feb 2008. I am as regular-looking as the next fella, but just walking through campus on a school day I got looks like I was an aboriginal with full war paint and roo spears at the ready. Not used to non-students voluntarily wandering into their land I suppose.

This traffic report brought to you by the Hansons on River Street. The Hansons are holding a yard sale this Saturday morning. Need tupperware, baby clothes, even a pinball machine? The Hansons' yard sale - this Saturday.
Congestion is heavy at the traffic light as usual. Cars are idling three deep. You may hit a 45-second snag past the Dominos Pizza. People are avoiding the light by going the wrong way in the Hardee's drive-thru, so stay alert.
On College Avenue, cars are zipping toward the interstate at 5-10 over the 35 limit before classes get out for midday break. But pedestrian traffic will be lighter near Wayland Hall as Mr. Shifflett's business class is on a field trip to the Wal-Mart distribution center.
No sighting of tractors or Mennonites, but a couple of ducks have made their way out of North River and onto Poplar Street. So everyone who has not yet left for lunch shift at Bob-A-Rea's - that's you, Jake - will be waiting for waterfowl.
There's an overturned beer can on South Main near the Marshalls shipping hub. Get a video of you runnin' it over and we'll hook you up with a free Smokin' Country FM tee shirt. From the second floor of the Quarles service station, this is Jaden McGillis for Smokin' Country FM.
*explosion.wav*
*hotdamn.wav*
*smokincountrybumper.wav*

Awful commute today, darlin'.

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