16 Nov 2009. Look at this pirate. It is the most subdued pirate I have seen. He's not grinning or scowling or yelling or keelhauling. A logo more fitting for beachside condos or an investment firm.
Pirate Annuities. Mutiny your financial fears.
"Uncle Dan? What are you doing down here from New York?"
Uncle Dan looked around as he approached the cashier's desk. He peered at the various prices on the shelves. After handling a few bottles of vodka, he pointed toward the young man behind the desk. Uncle Dan was now in salesmanship mode. As usual.
"Rag, have I got an opportunity for you!" Uncle Dan beamed through his doughy face and shook Rag's hand.
"What...what are you thinking about?" Rag took back his hand and wiped it on his stringy blond hair.
"As you know, I have a line of top selling wines to my name."
"Yes, we do not stock much wine though."
"I know, but liquors are in the back of my head. Tremendous upside. But that's later. I'm talking about now. Or, two months from now."
Rag verbally calculated. "Two months from now..."
"That's February, Rag. My winery is doing our biggest promotion yet and I need your experience."
"My experience...here? Stock boy and cashier?"
"And business student, all in Newark, the liquor store capital of the world! I need a stock boy and cashier like yourself to help with the whole operation. I can't pay you but I'll cover the flight and incidentals and some event tickets."
"A flight? Ohhhh, you need me to show you around Norway!"
"Norway? Norway? You are still stuck in your Norwaygian wees, uh, your Norwegian ways, Rag. Don't you ever watch the news? Do you know what's happening in February?"
"Only the biggest Canadian celebration since Terry Fox won the Stanley Cup!"
Uncle Dan pulled a blue-and-green-swirled folder out and slapped it down on the counter. On it read the label:
CORPORATE CHAMPION PACKET